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Burn survivors' testimonials |
--more of Maria Patterson's life-- |
When I met my husband the area I felt most uncomfortable with was being intimate. It was difficult because when I looked at the scars always hidden by clothes, I felt ugly. That little voice of mother's was always there. How could anyone want to marry me with these scars when I couldn't accept myself?
When my husband asked me to marry him I was happy and scared at the same time. I was scared that he would reject me because of these ugly scars I had hidden so well with clothes. Although I loved my husband, I didn't want to share the ugliness with him. |
Because my husband is the kind, loving, caring and thoughtful man he is, I now see myself as a beautiful woman when we experience intimate moments. My Prince took me step by step, explaining that he loved me and the scars are a part of me. He showed such compassion and tenderness that I felt comfortable with the scars. I now feel very special. | meeting my knight in shining armour, January 1967
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Mr. & Mrs. Patrick Patterson,
37th Anniversary,
May 17, 2004 |
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Pat and Maria married May 13, 1967 |  37th anniversary celebration at St. Francis Catholic School Chapel, La Canada Flintridge, CA, December 12, 2004.
Reception followed at home of friends in Tujunga, CA. | |
I don't hear mother's voice anymore. We have been married over 37 years now. Because of the support my husband has given me and the strength I have gained through faith, I am able to share with burn survivors the experiences I had. I do this hoping that other survivors can feel good about themselves in getting past the outer appearances, and I assure them to not listen to those little voices saying, "you are ugly." Because I don't hear that voice anymore, I believe in my positive strengths. P.S. I love you, Patrick.
Because I saw the need for Burn Survivors mentoring that focuses entirely on the emotional and spiritual need of a burn survivor, I started SBSS to meet those needs. I facilitate a woman's support group discussing issues concerning women ... and a general support group consisting of men and women. A very special support service very dear to me is the "Back to School" program for burn-injured children. It helps them to reenter school and the community. This is one-on-one adult or child burn survivors mentoring.
There are some tools I had to use in order to become intimate. I had to:
1) learn to accept the scars as an extension of myself.
2) allow my partner to look at the scars and not feel ashamed, but rather, okay.
3) trust myself to let the fears of rejection go.
4) learn to accept rejection and not feel my life has ended if it occurs.
5) learn the importance of my body.
6) learn to allow myself to feel the beauty of being a woman.
These tools are still working for me today.
I'd like to end by presenting a poem that I wrote May 13, 1967: |
A Burned Indian Woman's Vision
Once, many moons ago an Indian woman with burns and scars walked alone and lost.
As she walked an unknown path, a tall stranger appeared and, together, they walked the same path as time passed.
The Indian woman longed to be a wife and mother and love someone.
The stranger beside her wanted someone to love and share his life with, so one evening as the sun set, the stranger took the Indian's hand. They both knew that eternity would be theirs for all of tomorrows.
The Indian was given the name Raging Wind by the stranger and the Indian named the stranger Freedom Walker.
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A true story by Raging Wind Maria Tereza Patterson, burn survivor, age of four.
Copyright October 1998. The National Library of Poetry, Owings Mills, MD.
Maria's poem was accepted and awarded a copyright by the National Library of Poetry. | | |
